It's Nice talking

"You broke my heart but I won't falter." Welcome to this post. Thanks for viewing my blog. I can track the viewing stat, so, hi.  I SEE YOU. 🤗 Someone close to me is deeply pained and it's difficult to witness that. This will serve as a note to myself. I have kept this for so long but I am telling you this now. I know that you have reasons. You have an endless list of defenses. You would try to justify your actions or even try to convince people that you are not to blame. But know that when things do not work out in the end, it is not only one person's fault. So, I just pray that you do not view yourself impeccable. I have nothing but respect for you. You may have done the crappiest thing but I have every bit of respect for you that you deserve. You deserve to be happy and I hope you are. I just wish that in the future, whoever you end up with, you wouldn't have to live with the guilt of sacrificing good things in exchange for a whimsical decision y...

                                  “You’re a writer, an artist and you’re probably just using him as your muse.” These are words by my friend, Beatriz G. when I told her about something that has been bothering me a lot lately. Her words haunted me ever since. Never in the years that I have waited for someone, did I imagine that my love for writing would be the very reason that I would let him go. My close friends know how much I liked him. I could not imagine being with someone else but him. People would tell me that it is a pity. I insist, it’s not.                  Long years passed and nothing has changed. I started questioning myself. How long could I wait? I mean, can anybody really wait forever? I kept on weighing things. Would I really be happy if I get to be with him in the end or would I be regretful for the time I have wasted waiting for ...

                I could not believe that after years and years of waiting, I finally feel fine with the idea of not being with you. God knows how much I wanted to be with you. I was so sure that you were the one who would make me happy. I WAS. But I realized that I was just trying to force the idea of us being together.                 I have defied the universe to wait for you. I thought I could endure it. I have told myself millions of reasons to justify why we should be together. But you know what? We are not just meant to be. From the very beginning, we weren’t. I will take the blame for this. I was just too blind, I guess? Now, it has taken its toll on me. So here I am, finally seeing myself in a different light. I believe it is true – that nobody can wait forever. Oh God, do you have any idea how much I have fought against time? I mean, who am I? Who am I to do ...

“How we carry ourselves in times of adversity defines who we are.” -           Tyler Evans, Natural Selection 2016 §   Shanice Guarin ADVERSITY. A word that has been unused by a person like me all my life. I used to think that life is so simple. You just have to fit in then you will be all good, you will survive. But as I face every single day, I discover something different. Regardless of how little that difference is, it makes me know something that is unknown for me. I used to say that if I just fit in, if I just go to the flow, if I just stay indifferent then nothing could ever go wrong. However, crap happens. Crap is inevitable. Going through all the crap is hellish. No matter how much avoidance I do, you cannot just write it off your life. Well yes, adversity can be a problem sometimes. Adversity has tested my kindness and patience. I have no idea when will it reach the ultimatum but I guarantee you, it feels lik...

23 August 2016 TWO OH, ONE OH Days went by, hands ticked and tocked With me is a secret from years way back It’s not a who, neither when nor what None from the Ws, what’s left on the card? How did it start – the setting of eyes? Fresh in my mind I was a little surprised Didn’t know that there’s someone in between Aside from Melcon and Melshane, there’s Melrae Shanice Guarin How did it happen – the knowing you and I Many medium moved our aliens good bye The clicking keypad as the sun goes down Gifts, notes and letters never fail to astound How did it grow, it was enchanting From acquaintances to something lasting Our differences and not-so-good assumptions Strengthened our friendship as true colors re shown The foundation is strange, not hindered by miles Our bond is incomparable, one of a kind It all began on a day in two oh one oh A day when God has given someone true           ...

Photo credits: W-Two Worlds (MBC) 2016