Adversity

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“How we carry ourselves in times of adversity defines who we are.”
-          Tyler Evans, Natural Selection 2016



§  Shanice Guarin

ADVERSITY. A word that has been unused by a person like me all my life. I used to think that life is so simple. You just have to fit in then you will be all good, you will survive. But as I face every single day, I discover something different. Regardless of how little that difference is, it makes me know something that is unknown for me. I used to say that if I just fit in, if I just go to the flow, if I just stay indifferent then nothing could ever go wrong. However, crap happens. Crap is inevitable.
Going through all the crap is hellish. No matter how much avoidance I do, you cannot just write it off your life. Well yes, adversity can be a problem sometimes. Adversity has tested my kindness and patience. I have no idea when will it reach the ultimatum but I guarantee you, it feels like hell. I admit, I have grown sick to it. I am just so freaking tired. I am so tired of hearing twisted arguments of people who constantly try to turn things up-side-down, of things turning bad, of bullshit.
What matters to me now is not how crap happens, but how people take all these crap surrounding them. I guess adversity is the perfect word that could trace down where crap in this world rooted. I know I am young and as elders would say, inexperienced. But try me, I have been through a lot too. I have witnessed different people and different ways on how they react to adversity. Surprisingly, whenever I see them no matter how often, I always end up in awe.  The thing is everything in this world is not really what it seems to be. In one blink, everything can change. Suddenly, you would just think that your life must be a complete lie.
                Let me start with myself. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a weakling. You know, I tend to just succumb to anything. I just let myself give in, lose, agree and shut up because I believe that if I continue arguing and conversing, it would just cause a branching out of pointless ideas. I would rather end it with a vague closure for the sake of just completely ending it. The point is, not all people are like me. Some people when they face adversity, they just won’t stop until they get the outcome they want. They do not care who they hurt, they do not care what bullshit comes out of their mouths, they do not care how out of context their reasoning is as long as they get what they want, then it is okay. Well, there are those who pretend not to know. Simulated deaf-mute, I say. I believe, that is partly me. That is their way of avoiding spreading out of omen. There are people who are just moody. They are the ones I find it hard to understand. Their arguments depend a lot on their mood. I really cannot figure it out. What is wrong with them?
One thing that I am sure of is that this world is ‘ugh’. It is not because God has made it into what it is but it is because people are just selfish. I am counting myself in. We all are selfish for an angel’s sake. We don’t even know what we want anymore. Nothing is certain for all of us. One line that struck me the most in a film I watched is “How we carry ourselves in times of adversity defines who we are.” I realized how true it is. How we handle things when things go wrong is who we really are. It is the time when our true nature comes out. It defines us. Enough with the image you are trying to build. Enough with the reputation you are trying to protect. Enough with the you that you are trying to maintain. The you in times of adversity is the you that is embedded in yourself.


I am not saying this for you to change. I am saying this to let you see into yourself and into other people, deeper. If you see it, then I hope you will be enlightened. If it is what defines us then I guess it is time for you to know who you are. Who you really are. 

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