With Paper Notes and Love

*This is a short story that I have written. I hope you like it.
013119: I wrote this when I was 17. It's cringeworthy, brace yourself.
- S

"Hey, Kara, don't cry. Stay strong. Do you think Raven would like seeing you cry like that?"

My friend has been consoling me the whole time. She told me not to cry because Raven will surely be sad seeing me break down like this if he was here.

Raven is my love. We loved each other deeply. Everybody was jealous of us. Raven has always been the talk of the town especially the ladies. He got the looks, the brain and the attitude too. Beside the good looks, my Raven is a young man with a really, really cold personality. He doesn’t smile often not unless I ask him to. He doesn't do sweet things to me like flowers and chocolates and stuff like that. We don't even hold hands. We haven't kissed. We never hugged. Is that even called dating?

I don't know why I stayed with him and I don't understand why I was with him in the first place. How did we end up together you may ask? Simple. I ignored him.  That is when he started noticing me.

To be honest, I was never into him. Never. Whenever my friends stalk him, I always stay behind. Whenever they go and talk to him, I sulk and roll my eyes at him all the time. I hated him. So much that I even kill him in my imagination. I hate him for being such a crook. I've always thought that he loved the fame he has even if he doesn't show it. I just hated him.

One time, I was walking on my way home from school when I passed by a street where two groups of boys are having trash talk exchange. I got really nervous that I might end up like those girls in the movies. I might end up as a hostage and be a damsel in distress. The big problem is I don't even have a prince, a knight and shining armor to save me. Men these days, with these two groups of monstrous guys around, cowardice will always be at its best.

So I was about to cross the street when those guys started a riot. Pushing. Punching. Kicking. Running. They were all over the place where I was. I am starting to panic. I turned back to where I passed but cars were passing really fast. God, wherever I go, I'll be dead! I don't know what to do anymore. I completely lost it. I panicked. What to do? What to do? Suddenly, a hand from nowhere grabbed me. I closed my eyes and started tearing up. I opened my eyes and was surprisingly ahead of those fighting guys already. What just happened?

After calming myself down, I started walking again when I heard someone said, "Thanks?"

I looked back and saw Raven, that brazen Raven.

            "You? It was you?" I asked. He was standing by the wall with his one foot against it.

            "Well," he answered.

Oh this guy is really full of himself.

            "Uhmn, th-thanks." I said and left immediately. I was a bit embarrassed because I was being so mean to him all this time yet he helped me. I was still in shock by what happened so I kept on walking looking at the ground. I stopped in front of our house and heard footsteps stopped behind me too. It was Raven. Again.

            "Are you, by any chance, from this neighborhood?" I asked him. He shook his head saying no.

            "Why are you here then?" I asked again.  He cleared his throat and looked away.

            "A-are you following me? Why are you- I said thanks, didn't I? What do you want?!" I yelled at him.

He smiled and walked towards me. I moved back to go further from him.

            "You! You think everyone likes you? Ha! You wish! Get lost you jerk!" I opened our gate and was about to enter when he held the gate to stop me from closing it.

            "You, why do you hate me so much? I always see you being so rude to me whenever your friends talk to me. Now, I helped you and that is your way of thanking me? Really. Rude." he replied calmly.

I was left with my mouth slightly opened. I was not expecting that kind of response from him. I thought letting out three words would be so hard for him. Another thing, I never thought that he could notice me giving him 'killer' looks. Literally 'killer'. I took a deep breath.

            "Because you think you are so handsome which…which you really are. But your attitude is way, way,  way far from your looks.  I bet the riot, you’re part of it. You just pretended to help me so you could show off. I’m sorry it didn’t work on me and oh yes, I hate you." I spewed out.

His eyes widened out of surprise and then he let out a smirk. An annoyingly handsome smirk. He picked something from his pocket and put out a piece of paper. He handed it to me. I was hesitant. Is he promoting something? A number? What is he up to?

            “What’s this?” I asked.

            “Just something. Read.” He answered.

As I opened it, I gasped.

So this guy could smile. In notes though. I found the note funny so I chuckled. I threw the paper away, thanked him again and told him to go home.

As I closed our front door, I let out a sigh. I saw him walked away. When I knew he's surely gone, I went back outside and picked up again the paper I just threw in front of him. I liked his note. It was so not Raven.  For the following days, he has been waiting for me outside the campus and walking me home. However, he always walks behind me like a crazy emotionless stalker so that no one would notice us together. It lasted for five straight months.

After several months, I finally decided to give him a chance so I said yes through a note too saying:

I pretended to drop a paper. So he picked it up. I didn't see his reaction but he walked past me and said,

            "You're my girl now. No taking it back." He waved goodbye without even looking at me. Jerk.

It was very peculiar. When a girl finally said yes, usually, guys would hug them tight. But for Raven, he bragged. Brazen in deed.

My friends were really dumbfounded after knowing about Raven and I. Even if our relationship is very strange from the usual way of dating because of Raven's odd personality, I still liked it. At least there are not many conflicts although sometimes I'd like to experience the sweetness of 'boyfriends'. I'm a girl and of course, I still wanted to feel special. I was afraid to tell Raven about it because I know it might hurt him so I just let it slide. I cannot believe it. The man I hated the most then is the man I love the most now. I don't want to lose him. I love him so with all my heart.

*           *           *

Later, I heard news about a girl who has gone crazy because of Raven. She liked Raven so much that she became obsessed and went really out of her mind. She was locked up at home because she often gets caught off with her tantrums and anxiety disorder. I told Raven about it and he seemed not to care. Raven, that brazen Raven.

One day, I texted Raven that I'll take my dog for a walk. He hit back with:

"Okay. Be safe."

See? Even in his messages he still acts cold. So, I took my dog for a walk. We were happily walking and playing with a ball. I'll throw it away and it’ll be back with it seconds later. Typical dog games. We were having a good time when suddenly my dog fell down and stopped following the ball I threw somewhere near where I stand. I was shocked. I ran to his direction and as I came nearer I could hear it cry. Part of me wanted to cry. My poor little dog. I stood up and tried to look for whoever is responsible for what happened and on a dark corner, I saw a girl. She has a long hair and was wearing pajamas. She was holding a gun-like thing on one of her hands and a jackknife on the other. She was smiling a devil-ish smile.  She started walking slowly towards me. She was barefooted.

            "Hi, Miss Kara," she said. She knows me. I tried to recognize her but I really don't know who she is.

            "You took him away from me. Because of you, he can never be mine!" she shouted at me.

I was confused. What was she talking about? Is it my dog? She likes my dog?

            "I am sorry but are you talking about my dog? But why did you-" I stopped from what I was saying because I realized something. She was that crazy girl who was obsessed with Raven. Oh My God, she's going to kill me now! I put out my phone and started scrolling looking for Raven's number. I was shaking. I finally dialed it.

Come on Raven, pick it up.

Raven finally answered. "What's up?" he said calmly.

            "Raven?" I sobbed.

I heard a loud noise from the other side of the line. Raven probably dropped something from his lap because he suddenly stood up.

            "Hey, are you okay? Where are you?" he said worriedly.

I couldn't speak, the girl, the crazy girl is still following me. She was humming as if we were in a horror movie. Raven kept on saying hello.

            "Hello? Hello? Kara, answer me! Where the hell are you?" he shouted over the phone.

I was startled. I never knew he could shout like that. "Raven, the girl who was obsessed with you. She's... she's here right now. She hurt my dog and now I-"

I did not have a chance to finish what I was saying because the girl started to walk faster towards me. Then she started running. I screamed. Heck, this is becoming a real horror movie. Last thing I know, I was also running. Real fast. I screamed for help but it was too late that I realized we were on an empty street. I still heard Raven shouted my name on the line before I dropped my phone and started running. Now I'm going to die. Why on earth did I drop my phone? How would he know where I am?

I kept on running then I saw people already walking by at the end of the street. I ran and ran more. I was starting to feel exhausted. I felt dizzy. I know sooner or later I'm going to pass out but I have to reach the end, alive. As I was running, I shout for help every once in a while, then I saw a guy running towards me. I thought he was her accomplice. Then I recognized him, it was Raven, my Raven. As we met, I heard the girl scream and there was a loud shot of that gun-like thing she was holding. Was I shot? I don't know anymore. I was numb. I lost my consciousness. All I know is that Raven hugged me tightly and I heard him say, "I love you, Kara, I love you." Then there was silence.

*           *           *

"Kara, stop crying now." Everybody's been telling me that.

            "Hey, Kara, don't cry. Stay strong. Do you think Raven would like seeing you cry like that?" I stop and cry again.

Raven, my brazen Raven. He saved me from being shot that day. The next thing I knew was I was at the hospital. I did not stop crying. I can't help it. I turned my back from my friends so they can't see me tearing up. Then a hand brushed my tears away from my swollen eyes.

            "Stop crying," said the voice. It was Raven, my love. "Look at you. You look ugly." I cried more.

            "She's been crying the whole time because of her dog. She is so weird right now, Raven." said one of my friends and everyone in the room laughed.

Yeah right. I was crying because of my dog. My poor dog. My dog died that day because of blood loss. Raven was also wounded but wasn't directly hit. For the first time that day, he hugged me and said "I love you." I stopped crying and wiped my tears. I faced Raven.

            "That time, I heard you say "I lo-" I was interrupted.

Raven put on a gentle kiss on my lips, "Shut up."

I was surprised by his sudden move. I pinched his cheeks and the room was filled with laughter.

*           *           *

We were at the park. Raven and I. This is our first real date. I looked at him as he was watching boys with skateboards not afar. Then he looked at me.

            "What are you staring at?" he asked.

            "You and your face." I answered.

He smiled and looked again at those skateboarders.

            "How did you find me that day?" I asked.

            "What?" he replied.

            "That day. When the crazy girl was... you know."

            "Power of love." he answered.

I was a little flustered by his answer. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're such a cute little crook."

            "Hey, why did you-" he asked.

            "Why? You kissed me too! Revenge is sweet." I laughed.

He also laughed and for a moment we were silent.

            "You have no idea how worried I was. I was calling you back but you did not answer. I thought I'd lose you that day. I was freaking scared. Don't ever do that again. Promise me." Raven said not looking at me.

            "I'm sorry. I was panicking and I dropped my phone so... anyway, I was thankful for that day." I said.

He looked at me with a confused face, "Are you nuts? You almost died and you're thankful? You are the crazy girl."

            "Well, that day, I saw a different you. I saw you rushing with emotions on your face. You hugged me for the first time. You said you love me. And saved me." I said with tears surfacing in my eyes.

            "That's because I do love you. Heck, Kara what’s with the drama? Cut it out, please," he said.

I just smiled and brushed his hair. He then put out a piece of paper and handed it to me. I was feeling nostalgic from the first time he gave me a note. I opened it:

Raven, my brazen-now-sweet Raven, he really doesn't how to speak of his feelings. I smiled.

"I do, Raven. My brazen Raven." I said while looking at the paper. I felt a little embarrassed because I find it all too mushy. Raven then held my hand and kissed it.

*           *           *

I never thought I’d have a person like Raven in my life. Until now, I am still in love with him so deeply. He still gives me notes with cheesy line in it and I still fall in love with him every single day. I know you’ll find yours too. Maybe not now but someday.

That has been me.