It's Nice talking

"You said the sun can shine brightly because of the shadow. Even though they can't become one, the shadow is always there in the distance, so the sun is never lonely, and is able to shine." Was I born to become a shadow? A shadow for everybody. I don't like shining anyway. The attention will just drain me. But being in the shadow means you have to stay in such a dark place. A place that is rarely noticed. As lonely as that sounds, being in that place gives me peace. Something that I will never get if I choose to keep on shining or to be around those who like to shine the most. To tell you honestly, though, I'm so tired. Of explaining why I'd rather be who I am, of finding reasons why I am like this, and of hoping that people will understand. Because clearly, who would care about a shadow? I am sorry, I couldn't be like you. I am sorry, I can never become one with the sun. I'm okay being in the shadows as long as you are never lonely. Until the en...

It could be exhausting, isn't it? To be the one who gives more, to be someone who puts more effort. No matter how much you convince yourself that it is fine because you are doing it out of love, it will come to a point when you would feel as though all of what you have done were for nothing. When you are stuck in that constant cycle, it will drain you. You will end up thinking that the world is really just full of bull. I was warned though. "You have to learn how to be alone." I thought that was too harsh for a young girl to hear that time. But now, it seems to be the realest advice I could use as an adult. I once read that giving will let you receive more and that it is the best feeling in the world. IT IS. But when giving means people taking you for granted, maybe it is time you reconsider that you are probably giving out way too much, there's nothing left for yourself. So, to you who gives more than you get, slow down. May the universe let you meet that per...

“I’ve lost my faith in this broken system,” what a powerful line. I am sure you clicked on this because you were intrigued. I can already hear whispers as I write this. It is from a song by ONE OK ROCK called “Renegades.” Go ahead and listen to it. "But if we cry, is there anyone listening?" Let me know. “For all of the lies and the burden they put on us and all of that times they told us to, just because” Go listen. "We got a fight for our rights and the things that we love now." From this slave of a broken system, hello, please check out ONE OK ROCK. An incredible band. Taka's voice, wow. And before I face the fire again, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n5bpeh5NNg

- Your Melrae Shanice ♥ THE SURFACE. That's what people often see. In this world where anyone can easily assume how others feel or think, I've always believed that only those who truly care will ever try to go beyond the surface. And even if I hold on to the slightest hope that someone actually cares, it ends up being another disappointment. But I'm not surprised. It's probably true, a part of me died with you. Days leading to the 20th, I could just sit myself and relive all the final moments I had with you. It puts me in a mood that I couldn't explain. People would say that you're happy and at peace wherever you are. But then again, I'm a selfish person. How about me? The one left behind? Lately, I feel like I've been punishing myself by seeing only my flaws and by thinking that I do not deserve to be happy. Without you here, happiness is a luxury that I couldn't afford. Because if I get too happy, the price might just be too diffi...

- Your Melrae Shanice ♥ Early morning of March 20, 2021, I got a call that changed my life forever. “Anak, kailangan mo na umuwi. Wala na si Mama,” my mother said over the phone. My grandmother passed away peacefully in her sleep that day. For a good second, I was speechless. At the back of my mind, I was still trying to figure out if it was a dream. The only thing I was able to utter was, "Mommy, ayaw ko. Ayaw ko. Ayaw ko." I didn't want that day to happen. But it came. I didn't want to come home, only to see my dearest Mama gone. Imagine the horror of waking up one day and the first thing you hear is the news of a loved one passing away. An overwhelming pain filled my heart. I felt my body turn numb and I just cried my eyes out. I wished it wasn’t real. Just like everyone else, I wished it was just a bad dream. A few years back, I shared about the changes I had to face when Mama Onsay suffered stroke. This time, I am writing this because my life trul...

This Eulogy was written by Mommy Wanda's daughter-in-law, Mrs. Baby Hideliza Castillo.  - - - How Do I Remember You? (A Eulogy to Mommy Wanda) It was year 2003 when I first met you as the mother of my former boyfriend and now my better half, Redel De Vera Castillo. Your sweet smile and warm greetings gave me an extraordinary hope that you would be my in-law someday and eventually it came true. I became an official part of your family in 2006 and I had the greatest chance to know you better. For more than 15 years, I have experienced the best versions of you. A good friend, this is who you are to everyone. I have seen how you give your time to help a friend, comfort them when they needed someone to uplift their spirits and always extending your support without any hesitation. A concerned wife, this is who you are to Daddy Lum. You may not have shown him your sincerest agitation but in your heart, you are thankful that he is the father of your children. The gratitude tha...